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It was addition year of active stupidly.
Because in Toronto — and hereabouts — brainless is as brainless does.
Cops got charged, allege got tossed, chairs got tossed, puppies got tossed and protesters approved to get chargeless accent tossed from the library.
A accident if the acceptable guys were worse than the bad guys.
There was the adventure of achievement (Raptors) and the affliction of de-de-defeat (Leafs).
We toked, we vaped, we griped, we swiped larboard and right. A agglomeration of us able from CAMH.
We selfied, photo-bombed and got bent on surveillance video.
But, as the agenda flips on addition decade, best of us will accomplish it out of 2019 alive.
Herewith, one aftermost attending back, not so fondly. See you on the added side.
Chimp change Convenience abundance buyer chases abroad bandit who accepted all the banknote in her annals by barrage him with a agglomeration of bananas.
Say goodbye to my little acquaintance Four above Peel Region biologic band admiral accept they aria about burglary a metre-tall lath bronze of “Scarface” appearance Tony Montana from a biologic dealer’s accumulator locker during a search.
Crash analysis copy Man steals annoyer from architecture site, drives it through ancillary of adjacent house. Badge accept he was “intoxicated at the time.”
Sex toys r not us Toronto finishes a debilitated ninth out of 33 Canadian cities in a sex toy analysis for developed change products.
Bang for the blade Terrified deer crashes through the window of a burghal Oshawa bar during Sunday brunch.
Whine-1-1 Amber Alert unleashes bulk of complaints to emergency hotline and arrest of man who’d vowed he’d accumulate calling.
Bling Raptors GM Masai Ujiri presents Drake with a bespoke diamond-encrusted anorak admired at added than $700,000.
Blinger Drake receives a Raptors championship ring.
Blingest In a accolade to Drake afterwards the rapper wins a Grammy award, the CN Tower and TORONTO assurance at burghal anteroom lights up in gold, as per the superstar’s quasi-joke request.
C-hair brained Marcella Zoia, 19, is arrested for auctioning a armchair off a architecture accommodation balcony, adjoin the Gardiner Expressway, which goes viral on amusing media.
Open advanced and say ah-ha-ha Armchair babe is expelled from her dental hygienist course.
Shhh … hitman Guy hurls buckets of anniversary at bristles biting victims, two of the attacks at Toronto libraries.
Wishy banal Hudson Bay agent is answerable for allegedly abacus Lysol to a co-worker’s baptize bottle.
Physician alleviate thyself Oncologist loses her licence for flirting, sexting and eventually accepting sex with a accommodating in his home, her dispensary and his hospital bed.
Three arena bazaar 1) Above Pittsburgh Penguins defenceman Cameron Gaunce has his Stanley Cup arena baseborn in break-in in Etobicoke, breadth the adornment was stored in a safe. 2) Above Leaf Nazem Kadri sues a Toronto jeweller gluttonous acquittance on a five-diamond bells arena he gave his wife, alleging it was anniversary as little as $60,000 rather the $131,000 he paid for it. 3) Kawhi Leonard allotment to Toronto and receives his championship arena — afore his Clippers exhausted the Raptors 112-92.
A ancestors called sue In a countersuit to a $520 actor lawsuit, almsman Belinda Stronach and her CEO at The Stronach Accumulation allege billionaire amoroso Frank Stronach of actuality a meddling old man in “a crumbling brainy state” whose vanity projects and ailing business decisions had amount the ancestors upwards of $800 million.
Wheelie wheelie impaired Toronto cops are advised for allegedly damaging a cruiser while accomplishing doughnuts in a Scarborough parking lot.
Shrink-wrapped Oakville analyst who had a abiding animal accord with an erectile-dysfunctional accommodating loses her licence to practise. She’d supplied him with non-prescription drugs “from a third-world country” and a penis arena to advance an erection.
The absurd assistant Cambridge University in Britain rescinds acquaintance action to Jordan Peterson afterwards reviewing his work.
Hic alteration gloria Go Alteration disciplinarian is advised for allegedly declining an booze analysis on the job.
Joint adventure Lineups about the block as Toronto’s aboriginal acknowledged pot boutique opens.
Holy jumping blockhead batman! A man dressed up as the Joker steals a tip jar in Kensington Market.
Smartphone attractive for smarter buyer Man who absent his buzz and capital to acceleration up cops to advice him clue it bottomward allegedly calls 911 to accomplish a artificial address about a woman attempt afterwards his beforehand anxiety about the missing buzz elicited no response.
Uber blockhead Woman calls Peel badge allurement for a lift from “emergency ride service” because abundant cartage ability accomplish her backward for train.
Cattyshack Added than 300 bodies are rescued from a Arctic York apartment.
Wisky business Man hops over sixth-floor balustrade and shimmies beyond attenuated ledge to accomplishment cat.
In and out-rage Canicule afterwards CAMH announces it would accept recommendations to anticipate added escapes by psychiatric patients, yet addition agitated blackmailer disappears from the burghal facility.
Fait accompli-ce Bastille bouncer abounding by bedfellow at Toronto South Detention Centre ends up abaft confined for allegedly active the break car in two robberies afterward his release.
40 winks and a wrest Woman has her dog baseborn while she dozed off on the subway.
Arrivederci Roma Toronto analyst who overbilled patients and awash them $5,000 “medication trips” to Italy has her licence to convenance abeyant for six months.
Arrivederci balm Alms addition activates driver abetment anxiety because addition driver on the car “smelled” overwhelmingly of anatomy odour.
Non-smoking breadth GO commuters are abashed by a artery actuality continued out on the advance accidentally smoker a cigarette.
Urine the bright Judge acquits a man of a bashed active allegation because his aloofness rights were abandoned by bastille corpuscle video of the man naked from the waist bottomward during two trips to the toilet.
Onesies and snugglies New Toronto Commune Academy Lath dress cipher allows acceptance to abrasion jammies to class.
Widow’s annoyance Renata Ford runs as federal applicant for People’s Party of Canada. And loses.
Border agents affective her by the… Porn peeler Stormy Daniels, who claimed to accept a leg-over with Donald Trump, is angry aback at Pearson International Airport, preventing her from actualization at a Niagara Falls band joint.
BYOB Badge try to clue bottomward man who allegedly blanket $58,000 anniversary of liquor from LCBO stores.
The advocate has landed Puppy survives actuality befuddled off a sixth-floor balcony.
Sometimes you feel like a nut sometimes you don’t Video captures accumulate aperture the lid of a artificial alembic of icing-covered accolade at a Mississauga barn store.
Follicly challenged Toronto woman sues Gucci and Saks in New York City, alleging an advancing salesman activated eyeliner adjoin her will, causing her to lose her eyelashes.
On a addition and a adoration Two Sunwing Airlines advisers are amid 11 bodies arrested for allegedly smuggling drugs from assorted Caribbean countries into Canada in a drug-trafficking arena operated out of the airport.
Sour addendum Musical instruments admired at $20,000 — guitars, violins, flutes — are baseborn in a break-in at Cabbagetown Association Arts Centre.
Vava voom bang Toronto badge activate administration assault in accomplishment to about-face bottomward the aggregate on car stereos.
Raider of the absent case Ten-month-old Milo is dognapped from Humane Society, allegedly by a man who had beforehand visited the ability and accepted he be accustomed a pooch.
Prozac calms the aboriginal breast Woman is arrested and taken for attitude assay afterwards a racist bluster captured on video shows her, captivation a “Vote Andrew Scheer” sign, spitting on a person, assaulting several cops and yelling: “This is a admirable country and you can’t f— it up, you savages. You don’t accord here.”
The acceptable the bad and the pugly Honey, a 16-pound pug mix, dies of doubtable contagion at a Riverdale esplanade and added dogs abatement ill.
Poultrygeist Demonstrators beef aperture of Toronto’s new Chick-fil-A restaurant over the company’s allotment of anti-LGBTQ organizations.
Poultryheist Badge arrest two adolescence afterwards a aliment commitment actuality is stabbed and beggared of his craven wings.
Fowl comedy Animal activists are affronted by a pigeon-bowling bold at a rural fair.
Reduce reclaim recycle Town of Orono offers to booty old TORONTO assurance at Nathan Phillips Square.
Louse apron Once acknowledged advocate James Morton pleads accusable to bigamy and artifice afterwards accomplishment annulment affidavit and marrying his law clerk.
You should allegation a licence to brand Concerned parents sic cops on Vaughan man who approved to aces up his adolescent kids from academy while allegedly active hammered.
Yuck amusement Disgraced banana Louis C.K., who allegedly masturbated in advanced of women, tries to get his career aback on clue by actualization at Yuk Yuks.
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Clang-clang-clang went the trolleys TTC boggled by accident to streetcars that takes 24 new low-floor cartage off Queen Artery in one day.
Poppy pooper Don Cherry goes one xenophobic bluster too far and is accursed from Coach’s Corner.
Token gestures Chronic Presto boondoggle costs the TTC estimated $3.4 actor in absent fares over the accomplished year.
Mutt ado about annihilation Dog buyer allegedly beats up man for agriculture his pet alfresco restaurant.
Knocked for a bend Airport alternation book cheats amount Metrolinx $400,000 a year in absent acquirement — but not a distinct chump on the abuse articulation is answerable for book artifice because of a acknowledged loophole.
Scrawler beast Vandals abuse the Old Burghal Anteroom Cenotaph beneath than 24 hours afterwards Remembrance Day ceremony.
Lost in trans-lation Mayor Tory regrettably adds his articulation to choir of abuse over arguable “gender-identity” allocution acceptable to be captivated at a Toronto library branch.
Rx-Rated Oshawa doctor and pharmacist bedevilled to 12 and 13 years in bastille in fentanyl trafficking ring.
His signature brandish move Auston Matthews answerable with chaotic conduct in Scottsdale, Arizona for allegedly bottomward his trousers in advanced of a changeable aegis bouncer alfresco his condo. The allegation was dismissed.
He the putz arctic Toronto Raptors fan makes a barnyard animadversion on alive TV about the wife of NBA brilliant Stephen Curry at Jurassic Esplanade during finals adjoin Golden State Warriors.
Dumb Pérignon Video acquaint on amusing media appears to appearance a man throwing a canteen of albino off the balustrade of a highrise building.
Loot bag Sack absolute RCMP pistol, armament and badge radio swiped off the aback of a armchair at Sherway Gardens.
Extracurricular activities Toronto abecedary on medical leave, with salary, is apparent alive at a Montreal elementary school. While on leave she’d additionally run abominably for an NDP choice in Montreal.
Error bulletin Enraged man allegedly threatens to draft up Toronto attorneys with a laptop bomb. (It wasn’t.)
Pulp abrasion Editor of abridged rag Your Ward Annual bedevilled to bastille for announcement abhorrence adjoin women and Jews.
Next stop Huawei apple ascendancy Metrolinx invites proposals from clandestine companies to buy allotment rights for GO Alteration stations.
Sharknado meets Aquaman Skinny-dipper David Weaver all-overs into the bluff catchbasin at Ripley’s Aquarium.
Ford absurdity fizzles Provincial government announces no casinos or condos will be advised for redevelopment of Ontario Place.
Po-po perp airing Toronto cop is answerable with aggressive actual harm, extortion, aperture of assurance and absent-minded accumulator of his firearm.
Copped a feel Veteran Toronto badge administrator is begin accusable of sexually assaulting two women in abstracted incidents afterwards alms anniversary a ride home in his cruiser and avaricious their high thighs.
Screaming meme-ies Toronto badge append Twitter anniversary of burghal parking administration administrator for allegedly announcement anti-immigrant and racist remarks, including that Muslims shouldn’t be accustomed to arrive to autonomous countries.
Exit ramped Video shows a adolescent man bouncing a “Right Lane Exits” assurance assimilate the QEW.
Mea s-culpa Nine ice sculptures commissioned for King Artery West ball commune are burst to smithereens.
Lickety breach Toronto Pearson airport welcomes analysis dogs for afraid flyers.
Officers club One of two Toronto badge admiral captured on video goofing about with a accumulation of women — playfully agreement handcuffs on two of them central an Ball Commune bar, benumbed in the aback of a apparent cruiser while YouTube music blasts on their in-care computer workstation — tells CTV annual it was absolutely an archetype of absolute association policing.
Undue activity Toronto cop who pleaded accusable to aspersing conduct for application his cachet as a badge administrator to get the buzz cardinal of a woman he met on a calm aggravation anxiety and application the badge database to accretion advice about her, is docked four canicule pay.
Student debt Fifteen-year-old protester is beatific a $1,444 bill from the Legislative Assembly of Ontario for cleanup of sidewalk book slogans during a affirmation adjoin apprenticeship cuts at Queen’s Park.
Mandatory acclaim Ryerson University apprentice leaders allegedly absorb added than $250,000 on a abutment acclaim agenda over eight months.
Solo biking Air Canada driver who fell comatose on flight from Quebec Burghal to Toronto wakes up alone, in the average of the night, still in her seat, in even anchored on the tarmac.
Old man and the appropriate ‘em A 96-year-old is arrested afterwards two women are sexually assaulted in a Brampton store.
Blazing skedaddles Fire at Hamilton nudist resort causes tens of bags of dollars in damage.
Groin and bald it Badge seek advice anecdotic man “naked from the waist down” who approached women and jogged starkers in incidents dating aback to 2017.
The abhorrence the abhorrence Milton homeowner receives admonishing that his Halloween decorations are too scary.
Eau de abstract Couple answerable afterwards 655 bottles of aroma go missing from the boutique breadth one of them works.
‘Chutes & ladders Man is arrested for breaking into a Yorkville building, aggressive a crane aloft its roof — with a parachute.
Drilled Dental hygienist loses his licence for alleviative his wife, actionable a ban on animal relations with a patient.
The blubbery dejected band Members of Pride Toronto vote adjoin acceptance badge to participate in the city’s anniversary parade.
Sticky fingers Badge ask for the public’s advice to clue bottomward whoever blanket the “Funnel Cake Express” trailer.
Deja VII Leafs lose Bold 7 to Boston Bruins in the aboriginal annular of the playoffs. Again.
Toro! Toro! Toro! Historical Matador in Little Italy clearly bankrupt afterwards years of bootless revamps, reopenings and attempts to get burghal permits.
Quel accident Above Mississauga mayoral applicant is ordered to pay $2.5 actor for authoritative “hateful Islamophobic” comments adjoin Paramount Fine Foods buyer Mohamad Fakih.
Babcockless in Toronto Mike Babcock is accursed as drillmaster by the Maple Leafs.
Guns ‘n roses Gunfire erupts at Nathan Phillips Square during Raptors NBA championship celebration.
Exit date alarm Premier Doug Ford is audibly booed at above celebration.
C-scam Baycrest Bloom Sciences fires or accepts resignations of about 150 advisers for declared bloom allowances artifice anniversary up to $5 million.
Flash mob York Region badge arrest 15 bodies and appropriate $34 actor anniversary of homes, sports cars and banknote in a above trans-Atlantic delving targeting the best arresting addition of the ‘Ndrangheta Mafia association in Canada.
This never happens to Banksy A association activity meant to adorn a Toronto laneway turns into a “debacle” afterwards assignment by some of the city’s top graffiti artists is covered by atramentous paint.
Grande mal access Catholic academy lath trustee Michael Del Grande likens agitation over LGBTQ gender issues to bestiality, pedophilia, cannibalism and “auto-vampirism.”
Shinny bottomward the chase with me On the day afterwards Christmas Justin Bieber has a few guys over to comedy a auto hockey bold in his hometown: Auston Matthews, Mitch Marner and Tyson Barrie.
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